Beloit College Mindset List

August 29, 2007

I think stuff like this is so interesting – I guess I’m admitting I’m a dork!

BELOIT, Wis. – Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy and Abbie Hoffman have always been dead.

1. What Berlin wall?

2. Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.

3. Rush Limbaugh and the “Dittoheads” have always been lambasting liberals.

4. They never “rolled down” a car window.

5. Michael Moore has always been angry and funny.

6. They may confuse the Keating Five with a rock group.

7. They have grown up with bottled water.

8. General Motors has always been working on an electric car.

9. Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.

10. Pete Rose has never played baseball.

11. Rap music has always been mainstream.

12. Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!

13. “Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.

14. Music has always been “unplugged.”

15. Russia has always had a multi-party political system.

16. Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.

17. They were born the year Harvard Law Review Editor Barack Obama announced he might run for office some day.

18. The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on.

19. Classmates could include Michelle Wie, Jordin Sparks, and Bart Simpson.

20. Half of them may have been members of the Baby-sitters Club.

21. Eastern Airlines has never “earned their wings” in their lifetime.

22. No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

23. Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.

24. Being “lame” has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.

25. Wolf Blitzer has always been serving up the news on CNN.

26. Katie Couric has always had screen cred.

27. Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.

28. They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola “MagiCan.”

29. They were too young to understand Judas Priest’s subliminal messages.

30. When all else fails, the Prozac defense has always been a possibility.

31. Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.

32. They grew up in Wayne’s World.

33. U2 has always been more than a spy plane.

34. They were introduced to Jack Nicholson as “The Joker.”

35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.

36. American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.

37. Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.

38. On Parents’ Day on campus, their folks could be mixing it up with Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz with daughter Zöe, or Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with son Cody.

39. Fox has always been a major network.

40. They drove their parents crazy with the Beavis and Butt-head laugh.

41. The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.

42. Women’s studies majors have always been offered on campus.

43. Being a latchkey kid has never been a big deal.

44. Thanks to MySpace and Facebook, autobiography can happen in real time.

45. They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.

46. Most phone calls have never been private.

47. High definition television has always been available.

48. Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.

49. Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.

50. Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.

51. China has always been more interested in making money than in reeducation.

52. Time has always worked with Warner.

53. Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.

54. The purchase of ivory has always been banned.

55. MTV has never featured music videos.

56. The space program has never really caught their attention except in disasters.

57. Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.

58. They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper.

59. They’re always texting 1 n other.

60. They will encounter roughly equal numbers of female and male professors in the classroom.

61. They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.

62. They have no idea who Rusty Jones was or why he said “goodbye to rusty cars.”

63. Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities.

64. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil.

65. Illinois has been trying to ban smoking since the year they were born.

66. The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.

67. Chronic fatigue syndrome has always been debilitating and controversial.

68. Burma has always been Myanmar.

69 Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.

70. Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.



Free Seminar “Your Business Plan: A Road Map to Success”

May 29, 2007

Crystal Pina of Visions Virtual Assistants and Laurie Dart of Writing Wisely are pleased to offer a free online seminar to all business owners on Wednesday, May 30 at 7:00 PM EDT and on Friday, June 1 at 11:00 AM EDT. This 60 minute seminar will be held in the VANA meeting room and will show you how to catapult your business to new levels with a business and marketing plan. Read the rest of this entry »

Show Some Cleavage

May 7, 2007

If you want to draw people to your Web site, you’ve got to show some cleavage. What do I mean by that? Well, you want people to do a double-take when they get to your site. It should be pleasing to the eye and have copy with substance. You only have a few seconds to grab the attention of your reader. Take advantage of those precious seconds by showing some cleavage. Read the rest of this entry »

Favorite Oxymorons 2007

May 6, 2007

I was reading the latest Trader Joe’s ad and came across a list of oxymorons I just had to share.

  • Deafening Silence
  • Plastic Glass
  • Airline Schedules
  • Adult Children
  • Jumbo Shrimp (which by the way is $7.99 a pound at Trader Joe’s – LOL)
  • Virtual Reality
  • Boneless Ribs
  • Dry Humor
  • Light Heavyweight
  • Questionable Answer

Oxymorons are fun. Can you think of any?

I Should Have Been on Oprah But There’s Still Nascar

April 27, 2007

I was watching Oprah the other day and all of the sudden there was Grammar Girl talking about sentence structure and using the right words in the right ways. I couldn’t believe it. I’d read about promoting yourself to such levels, but never, in a million years, thought Oprah would be interested in doing a story about a grammar book. Grammar Girl wrote one. I wrote one too. The difference is she probably sold thousands, maybe even millions while my book sales have yet to reach the hundreds. Why? Is it because her book is better than mine? Probably not – I mean we ARE talking grammar here. But Oprah endorsed her book, she didn’t endorse mine. So, I think the answer is – promotion. Read the rest of this entry »

Analogies And Metaphors From Real High School Student Essays

April 23, 2007
  1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one those boxes with a pinhole in it. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Write Winning Sales Copy

April 21, 2007

You’ve created the product. You’ve sharpened your skills. Now it’s time to get your message out. How will you do that? The most effective way is through your Web site. How do you generate sales or land clients from your Web site? By writing winning sales copy that’s how. You have only a few seconds to grab the attention of your reader, regardless of whether they are looking for a product or a service. Read the rest of this entry »